Changing addictive habits can be tricky business requiring masterful skills! Compassion and kindness are two powerful tools for learning about, understanding and removing addictive patterns. These tools reside bravely within our being, activated by our hearts – not our minds. Our mind can become a servant to our heart, sending kind and compassionate messages about what we are struggling with, what we are challenged by and to counteract the self-limiting patterns that harm us.
Our consciousness is the critical bridge within our being that can link healthy mental patterns with the compassionate loving energy that heals addictive patterns. An effective counselor/therapist/coach demonstrates this kind of link. We all have this link within our being. We may not know how to access and use this energy, or how to develop new patterns that ameliorate the need for addictive behaviors. But we can learn.
Driving forces behind addictive behaviors come with these kinds of faces –
* My emotional content feels out of control.
* My mental content feels out of control.
* The world around me upsets me and I don’t know how to process this disturbance well.
* I don’t feel able to manage my life well.
* My internal messages disturb me.
* I don’t trust my inner experience.
* I don’t trust life.
These are all habits that you can change!
How do we work effectively with these faces/forces that stimulate the need to numb from life? We practice new habits.
* My emotional content feels out of control. Develop tolerance for emotions and feelings by consciously observing them, distinguishing and identifying the varieties of feelings and emotions you experience. Knowledge is power in this instance. Learn to anchor into your physical body and use the tool of breath to navigate inner waters.
* My mental content feels out of control. Learn to become the observer of your thoughts. Mental energy has a special energy that changes as you become more detached from the experience. You are not your thoughts, your thoughts are patterns that have developed from your responses to life.
* The world around me upsets me and I don’t know how to process this well. Everyone needs a support system that challenges them to grow into leading life well. Early traumatic experiences often define us until we redefine ourselves consciously, through deeper self-understanding. The world is less upsetting when we feel strong and competent inside. Working from the inside out brings success.
* I don’t feel able to manage my life well. Becoming proficient at life is a matter of developing healthy and strong life skills. These come through learning and then practice. The information and understandings are available. Seeking and finding the guidance that will help you personally becomes your mission.
* My internal messages disturb me. Early traumatic experiences often program our inner responses to those of helplessness, distress and anxiety. During the process of healing the past, developing new, healthy and powerful responses to the present, becomes possible with time and support.
* I don’t trust my inner experience. We trust our inner experiences as we come to know and accept ourselves at a deep level.
* I don’t trust life. Having significant early experiences that harmed us, or led us to believe that others are not trustworthy impacts us profoundly. You will trust life when you rediscover that you are worthy of kindness and love, seeking connections that can provide this to you as well as you focusing these qualities on You.
Addictive habits in our culture run rampant! Shopping, chronic sports and television watching, food and substance use for numbing consciousness, and computer surfing/using are all examples of how we turn away from our consciousness, our feelings and our ability to master our lives through receiving and contributing in the ways that are truly fulfilling.
The path of life mastery comes through finding the strength and gifts that your heart holds in waiting for you. Through discipline and willingness, two more effective tools, you will change your addictive habits. Coupled with kindness and compassion – suddenly you are a powerhouse, leading your life to new places!